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Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Day 1

Well I am going to start up again.  I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 268.5.  I weigh myself everyday on the wii.  I didn't eat so well today.  I didn't eat breakfast pretty much like normal.  I'm not a breakfast person and neither is my youngest daughter.  If I didn't almost force her to eat something she wouldn't eat anything.  I had a Totino's pizza for lunch.  I'm not proud when I eat them but they taste so good.  I also had chips with is again. Not good. I don't know if it was just weakness or bad judgment.  I did a little better for dinner.  I had two hot dogs which really is about half of what I used to have and just a spoonful of mac and cheese.  I usually fill my plate, then clean it, then eat some of what the girls have left on their plates.  I don't want to pass down to my children eating everything on their dinner plates so I only make them eat until they are full and if there is food left over that is okay.  Maybe that will help them not have as many bad habits as I do.  Maybe just that will help them not be overweight as adults.  I have been a little depressed as of late.  I am having family issues.  And I'm not the type to cause problems or complain.  I tend to just go with the flow.  I'm an apologizer.  I wish I wasn't but it makes me seem weak and a lot of people take advantage of that.  Including people that shouldn't like family.  Like this weekend was Pumpkin's 8th birthday.  My inlaws came in for just the weekend.  They haven't seen the girls since around Christmas.  I had a party planned for Sunday but that wasn't good enough day for my family.  They wanted to take pumpkin to their house for presents early and when I said no to that they brought every one of her presents to my house on Saturday.  And they didn't stop there.  They also brought party hats, party horns, and a birthday cake with candle.  They pretty much cancelled out the party I was throwing her.  At her actual party that I threw she only got the two presents that we got her.  My family showed up but sat in pretty much silence the whole time acting like it was a huge inconvenience to them to even be there.  Also one day when we were talking about the new Ninja turtle movie.  I said that I honestly think the new turtles look weird and that they kind of look like frogs to me.  I think those movies are so classic that the characters shouldn't be changed that much.  But they went to see the movie which was fine.  They texted me and said that they really liked the movie and I texted back and said that I was glad that they liked their frog movie lol.  I thought it was a joke.  Then the very next text it was taken to a whole new level when they texted me back that I was going to miss out on a very good movie because of my prejudice.  Let me make it clear that I am not prejudiced against anyone or anything.  I don't like when people talk about me so I don't talk about people.  I don't treat one race different from another.  To me we are seriously all people who deserve to be treated equally.  All that matters to me is how someone acts and their personality.  I mean if you're nice to me I'll be nice to you.  However since right after Pumpkin was born there has been quite a few times that my family has called us either prejudice or racist and I seriously don't know where that comes from.  I honestly think I need to move out of Texas.  No offence to people who live here but I never should have moved to this state.  We just don't like it.  There is nothing about living in this state that appeals to us.  And we will be leaving it as soon as we can. Hopefully it will be the military route but if not then we will find another way out.  I am just getting more and more depressed the longer we stay here and it hasn't even been a year yet.  For exercise today I cleaned and I also spent an hour at the pool with the girls.  They had a blast and Pumpkin kept wanting to race.  Love bug was just happy to swim around with her life vest on.  That is one little girl who is absolutely not afraid of water or the pool.  I will try to be back on tomorrow.